How I'm Working To Build a Strong Marriage

Photo by Heather Fink Photography

2018 marks ten years that I have been loving, laughing, learning, and growing with my best friend in the world. Next year also marks the year we will finally become husband and wife. My fiance and I literally grew up together. We've learned how to navigate this thing called life together. One of those things is getting a jump start on learning how to build a strong and lasting marriage. Already being ten years into the game, we've adopted some healthy habits that help bring us back to square one when life gets hard.

1. We Communicate

It is so important to have meaningful communication with your spouse on a regular basis. I'm not saying you have to have a heart-to-heart every single night, but good communication is the solid foundation of any relationship. If there's a problem, we fix it. Usually, it's him on one end of the couch and me on the other, being completely open and honest with each other about whatever may be wrong. My Godsister has even shared with me that she and her husband try to maintain some form of physical contact when they're fighting. They sit down together and hold hands. It reminds them that they are in this for the long haul, for better and for worse.

2. We're Kind to Each Other

In other words, we don't speak ill of each other. Ever. Not to each other and especially not about each other to other people. Your spouse is your partner in everything you do. If you're not on the same side, how can you expect it to work? What's more, try especially to be kind to each other when you're fighting. Instead of accusing, belittling, or bringing up past arguments, make sure what you're saying is necessary and beneficial to the conversation.

3. No Judgement Zone

We tell each other everything. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the gross. We tell all. The key here is to make your marriage a judgement free zone. He's my automatic ear when I need to vent about something frustrating or embarrassing, my go-to when I've had a particularly weird dream, and the one I turn to when I'm feeling anxious or stressed.

4. We Spend Time Alone

Even though he's your other half, sometimes you both need to get away from each other. It's nice to be under the same roof, but in different rooms. Often times, we compromise by being in the same room but focused on different activities. It's also healthy to get out of the house separately (and not just to go to work) and be your own person once in awhile. Sometimes I forget that I can be just "Bri" and that we don't always have to be "Bri and Andrew."

5. We Make It Work

Above all else, we make it work. Because at the end of the day, we love each other. We have chosen each other to do life with, so we will do everything in our power to make it work. We compromise. We bend a little. We sacrifice when we need to. We put each other first, always.

How do you and your other half make it work? Share your secrets to a healthy marriage with us in the comments!