I have been struggling for some time with issues I thought were that of being an overworked person.  I work long hours, survive my Monday through Friday grind on little sleep and spend my weekends taking naps to catch up. What mom doesn't?  The problem is I wake more tired than I was before I took a nap.  I have moments where all I want to do is cry and my excuse is "I'm crying because I am tired."  When did this become my normal?  In reflection I found it wasn't normal.  Something was amiss with me.  How could I have everything I want and need and still be sad?

A lot is changing in my world this year.  My son graduating high school and turning 18, my husband is returning to a career in law enforcement, and my in-laws are moving away.  To say I am overwhelmed with all this is an understatement.  I am sad, happy, and scared for all these changes.  These people have defined who I am for so long.  I have been mom for almost half of my life.  I have been a wife for 8 years and my in-laws are two of the most important people to me.  They love so strongly and are so supportive of us.  Most people don't like their in-laws but mine are the best.    Mostly, I worry about who that will make me now.  

My worst day was crying for hours because I wanted my husband to listen to Pink's brand new album,  I love to write and listen to music and the lyrics on her new album spoke to me in such an emotional way. I needed to have him here the lyrics as they were describing me and my life.  My husband had minimal interest as he is a country music fan and couldn't understand the meaning behind the lyrics.  I was angry because I needed him to understand what I was feeling and in that moment I felt he didn't know me.  I was sad because he didn't understand.  Not true of course but it made me realize that I needed help.  This album speaks to me like she is singing about my life with all the ups and downs. 

So in May I started seeing a therapist.  I was diagnosed with anxiety, PTSD, and depression.  Those are scary words and at first I felt like a failure as a person.  How did I not see the signs?  My husband did, my family did, but I didn't feel these things.  I have a beautiful family, a job I love, and everything in life that I want.  Remember I'm crying because I am tired.  Except I didn't feel tired when I wanted to cry.  I was overwhelmed with the thoughts in my head and knew that sleeping would drown them out. 

I share my story with you, because while it is personal to me I know maybe someone else is feeling the way I do and doesn't know how to describe it.  They don't have an outlet or the confidence to seek out help.  Going to a therapist can be scary, embarrassing, and very personal.    

My advice is to believe in yourself.  If you think something is wrong believe it.  If you can get in to see a therapist, crisis counselor, or find someone to talk to- do it.

Remember you cannot be your best self when you feel bad.  It is okay to feel bad sometimes but it should pass.  It is okay to ask for help.

Most important- nothing is wrong with you- you need a boost and sometimes that is all any of us needs.  Life is busy, overwhelming, and ever changing.  It is okay to not be okay with it sometimes. 

Have you ever been here?

What got you through?

Do you need someone to be strong for you?

If you are willing share your experience with me and our readers.  

You can help too.

Drop me a comment below or catch me over on MBP social media @mommysblockparty on Facebook or @mommysblckparty on Twitter and IG.