It's the month of loooooove!

Was that corny enough for you? I am not a huge fan of Valentine's Day but I enjoy a holiday so in my home, we celebrate in a small way and enjoy it for what it is. Truth be told, sharing and receiving love throughout the year in the day to day grind means so much more to me than flowers and candy on February 14th. 

Have you ever taken the time to discover your love language? My husband shows love by providing acts of service but he receives love through physical touch and words of affirmation/encouragement. I didn't realize that people showed and received love in two different ways until I was probably 30 years old. It took being married to someone like this for me to fully understand how love works in a healthy marriage. 

Personally, I receive love or "feel" loved when someone responds, listens and reaches out to me in communication or acts of thought. That can be as simple as a text. For me, it makes me feel loved! I show love in the exact same way! I'm one of those who show and receive in the same way which is why I didn't realize that other people are simply not this way until later on in life. 

It serves us all to take the time to discover how our significant others feel loved. It's a beautiful thing when he or she takes that same time and effort to discover the same about you and together, you can have a healthy and happy relationship making sure one another feels seen and loved. 

Showing someone you care looks different depending on what would mean the most to that individual person. Here are five ways that I show my husband (who feels loved by touch and words of affirmation) that I care:

Sometimes, I fail but typically when something stressful happens for my hubby, I try to immediately reinforce that everything will be ok and he is doing a great job. When he works a hard or long day and my first inclination is to be agitated that he's taking longer to end his work day, I try to nip that in the bud and thank him for providing so well for our family. Like I said, this is not a perfect scenario every single day, but if I'm being mindful and intentional with my words, my husband feels loved. 

Another way I can show that I care is to give him random hugs throughout the day. A kiss is even better! Let's be honest ladies, we aren't always in the mood for physical affection every moment of the day! However, my husband loves for me to touch him in any way at any time of the day. This can be so simple and requires such little thought, but goes a long way. I can grab his hand as he walks by for a squeeze, a double high five in the kitchen, a hug during the day, a kiss on the hand or cheek and the list goes on. These are quick an easy gestures of touch that mean a lot to someone who enjoys physical touch. 

Side by side time is not the most dominant way that my husband feels loved, but he does enjoy it. For this, I will sit by him as he works on something on his computer, ask him to put a show on that he enjoys or simply ask him to play a game of cards with me. If this seems awkward or like not something that you would enjoy doing, just give it a try and see what happens! You never know until you try. 

Another gesture that I try to remember is to make my husband his sweet tea. He makes it himself, on the stovetop with tea bags and he likes it made a very specific way. He has it mastered down to the smallest detail. He started this a few years back. I had watched him make it and made a mental note so that I could make it for him when the time came. When I do this, he is always so happy. It's truly the little things that make all the difference. On this same note, he always make sure my Keurig is filled with water. 

Finally, one of the best ways to show your partner that you care is to put the phone down and ask him how he's doing and how you can help. Tell him or her that you want to go out for coffee and try to make time to do it. Being intentional in your relationship is all about making a ton of tiny decisions all day long that add up to a meaningful exchange of love. 

Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. You do not need to spend $100 on a special gift. If you want to, go for it! If you don't want to do that or can't do that, you can still show your partner how much you care. 

Blessings,