I thought I would cancel my 40th birthday and pretend like it didn't exist, but I decided to embrace it and ended up having the best day ever.

I truly thought I may just pretend like it wasn't happening. I had about a week of an existential crisis on my hands where I felt much too young to be 40. However, being 40 is not at all old! I'm not sure what it was that was causing me to feel this way, but I think I've never really felt a day past 25 in my head so the idea of 40 sounded outrageous. 

It just so happened that Mother's Day fell on my birthday this year as it sometimes does. There was no way to avoid this birthday. This birthday was going to be celebrated. In fact, even if I had wanted to cancel it, my sweet husband, parents and friends would never allow such nonsense to take place.

I asked for my husband to not throw me a party because at this stage of life, I would need to throw my own party and I just wasn't up for it, truth be told. Many of my closest friends (including my sisters-in-law) live in different states and I know they would wish they could be here. It's always kind of a sad realization when big life events roll around and they aren't here to celebrate with me. However, how blessed am I to have my best friend right around the corner and my parents just 40 minutes away. While I did not have a party, my parents did come over and spend the night at my home AND my bestie came to bring me some amazing gifts and a birthday hug. 

My day was truly better than I could have imagined. Everyone spoiled me beyond what I could ever deserve. It's like they love me or something? 

My genius mother had the idea to get me t-shirts based on things I loved as a kid, growing up in the 80's and 90's. She is so creative! There were so many more shirts not pictured here. 

My bestie gave me this amazing shirt and I wore it today. Pacey and Joey, all day, everyday. I will die on that mountain! 

I'm grateful to have been able to celebrate my own mom on Mother's Day and the relationship that we share. She is so loved by so many and I feel beyond lucky that she's mine. If it was a tough day for you, just know I thought about you too. My heart ached for many that I know and I realize it's a day filled with mixed emotions. 

Turning 40 on Mother's Day was like this double reminder that I am exactly where I'm supposed to be. I'm married to the love of my life, coming up on 19 years. I'm a mom to two incredible boys who will both be middle schoolers this Fall - 6th and 7th. I'm a daughter, a sister, a niece and a friend. I cherish my roles ever so much. They mean the world to me and I suppose if I had to say anything about what it feels like to turn 40, I would simply say this:

I don't feel a day over 39. 

I'm blessed beyond measure. 

The years are short and the days are long. 

Babies don't keep so hug and kiss them every single day. 

I feel better than ever and I'm ready for the next chapter of my life to begin. 
God has brought me this far and He's not done with me yet!

Blessings,