Hello friends, today is a somber day, as I reflect on the losses I have experienced in the last few months. I'm hoping in sharing Grief Awareness Day, that those of you that need comfort find some here. I'm truly sorry for your pain and I pray for love and light to guide you in the coming days.
I've never really lost anyone close to me until this year. In less than 2 months, I've mourned the loss of 3 important people in my life. To say the whirlwind of emotions that come with grief are surreal is an understatement. I'm so grateful for the support given to me and my family the last few months. There are never the right words that can be offered during loss, but the empathy and the sympathy are well received and appreciated. I've never known the right things to say or how to respond to someone grieving as I could only empathize not really having been through it myself and I am sure I am not the only one. Here are some helpful things to help someone else or yourself when grieving.
Do Say
I'm here to listen.
Please know I am here for you in whatever capacity you need.
It's okay to be feeling this way
These comments validate the griever. Their grief is as unique as their bond to the person they are grieving.
Don't Say
Everything happens for a reason- This is meant to be helpful but is so much the opposite. Reasons explain why and how. When someone is grieving there is no answer to those questions.
Time heals all- Maybe it does and maybe it doesn't. You cope through your pain and over time it may lessen but it is no less there.
I know how you feel- You may have experienced your own loss, but no 2 people grieve the same. Don't diminish their feelings as a way to pacify your own need to help or feel helpful.
Remember that grief is different for everyone and you cannot know how they're feeling. So, it's best to avoid saying things like 'they've gone to a better place', or 'it's a good age' as they can make someone who is grieving think that their feelings of loss are being dismissed.
If you are grieving and need a friend please comment. I'll be happy to lend an ear, a shoulder, or just some company. God bless and love and light.
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