As an educator with over six years of experience at a Montessori school, I find that many of my instincts align with the Montessori method. This educational approach emphasizes observation and experimentation, viewing children as capable individuals. Key principles include respect for ourselves, each other, and our environment. As a Montessori guide, I encourage children to be independent and develop real-world skills.

One common misconception about Montessori is that it allows children to do whatever they want. This is not true. I’ve discovered that I embody an authoritative approach both in my classroom and as a mother.

Three Parenting Styles

There are three primary parenting styles that I often encounter: authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative. Here’s a quick overview of each:

1. Authoritarian: Characterized by a “my way or the highway” mentality, this style places adults completely in charge. Children are expected to comply with rules set by adults, with little room for their input. Punishments are common, which can lead to issues like low self-esteem and increased dishonesty as children attempt to avoid consequences.
2. Permissive: In this style, adults are often loving but fail to set clear boundaries. Children may struggle with behavioral problems due to a lack of rules and follow-through on consequences. As a result, children with permissive parents often face academic challenges.
3. Authoritative: This style balances open communication with natural consequences. Authoritative parents teach children about expected behaviors and the reasons behind rules. They consider their children's feelings and opinions while maintaining boundaries. Research indicates that children raised by authoritative parents tend to grow into responsible, self-expressive adults.

In heated moments, it can be challenging for adults to control their reactions and emotions. Preparing ourselves and being aware of our actions and expectations are crucial steps toward becoming better role models for our children. I believe in the Montessori philosophy of “freedom within limits,” which allows children to make realistic choices while adhering to firm boundaries.

Teaching and parenting are well-established practices, but no one can be a perfect role model all the time. Remember to be kind to yourself, show grace, and respect your journey. We can make the world a better place, one child at a time.

Do you think the parenting style you were raised on effects the parenting style you use today?